Executive Function Through Play
The Hidden Skill That Shapes a Lifetime of Success
“Put your shoes on.”
Your toddler walks into the bedroom…and comes back carrying a teddy bear.
You ask them to put their cup in the sink, and halfway there they spot the family dog, stop to give it a cuddle, and completely forget what they were doing.
Sound familiar?
As parents, it’s easy to think our children are distracted, forgetful, or simply not listening. But what’s really happening is that an incredibly important part of their brain is still under construction.
These everyday moments are signs that your child is developing executive functioning—the set of mental skills that help us remember information, focus attention, control impulses, solve problems, adapt to change, and manage emotions (Center on the Developing Child, 2011).
Executive functioning isn’t something children suddenly master when they start school. It begins developing from infancy and continues well into early adulthood as the brain’s prefrontal cortex matures (Diamond, 2013).
And here’s the wonderful part:
The best way to build these skills isn’t through worksheets, flashcards, or hours of structured lessons.
It’s through play.
What Is Executive Function?
Think of executive functioning as the brain’s air traffic control system.
Just as an air traffic controller helps dozens of planes take off, land safely, and avoid collisions, executive functioning helps children manage the constant flow of thoughts, emotions, actions, and information they experience every day (Center on the Developing Child, 2011).
These mental processes allow children—and eventually adults—to:
- pay attention
- remember instructions
- resist impulsive behaviour
- plan ahead
- organise ideas
- switch between tasks
- solve problems
- regulate emotions
- make thoughtful decisions
- persevere when things become difficult
These are the skills behind nearly every success we experience throughout life.
Why Executive Function Matters More Than IQ
Academic knowledge is important.
But research increasingly shows that executive functioning is one of the strongest predictors of school achievement, emotional wellbeing, employment success, financial stability, healthy relationships, and even long-term physical health (Diamond, 2013; Moffitt et al., 2011).
Children with strong executive function are more likely to:
- cope with frustration
- wait their turn
- work towards goals
- recover from setbacks
- collaborate with others
- think creatively
- solve unfamiliar problems
- become independent learners
These are lifelong skills—not just school skills.
In many ways, executive functioning is what helps children turn their knowledge into action.
The Three Core Executive Function Skills
Researchers generally describe executive functioning as three interconnected abilities (Diamond, 2013).
1. Working Memory
Working memory allows children to hold information in their minds while using it.
For example:
A child remembers three instructions:
- Put your shoes away.
- Wash your hands.
- Come to the table.
Or they remember the rules of a game while deciding what to do next.
Working memory is essential for reading, mathematics, conversations, and problem-solving.
2. Inhibitory Control
This is the ability to pause before acting.
It helps children:
- wait patiently
- resist grabbing a toy
- stop themselves from interrupting
- control big emotions
- think before reacting
Young children are not born with strong self-control.
They develop it gradually through repeated playful experiences that encourage taking turns, following rules, and practising patience (Center on the Developing Child, 2011).
3. Cognitive Flexibility
Life rarely goes exactly as planned.
Cognitive flexibility helps children adjust when plans change.
It allows them to:
- think of different solutions
- adapt to new situations
- accept mistakes
- try another strategy
- understand another person’s perspective
Children practise this every time imaginative play changes direction.
Yesterday the cardboard box was a spaceship.
Today it’s a bakery.
Tomorrow it’s a pirate ship.
Flexible thinking grows through flexible play.
Why Play Is the Perfect Executive Function Workout
Play naturally challenges children to use all three executive function skills at the same time.
Imagine two children building a tower.
They have to remember the plan (working memory).
Resist knocking it over before it’s finished (inhibitory control).
Change strategies when the tower falls (cognitive flexibility).
All while communicating, cooperating, solving problems, and managing disappointment.
No worksheet can recreate that richness of learning.
During pretend play, children constantly hold ideas in mind, follow imaginary rules, negotiate roles, solve unexpected problems, and adapt their stories as new ideas emerge. Researchers have consistently found that mature pretend play provides one of the richest opportunities for developing executive functioning (Bodrova & Leong, 2007).
Movement Makes Thinking Stronger
At A Little More Play, we believe movement is one of the greatest gifts we can give a growing brain.
This belief is strongly supported by research.
Physical activity increases blood flow to the brain, strengthens neural connections, and supports the development of attention, working memory, planning, and self-regulation (Best, 2010).
When children climb…
…their brains are planning movements.
When they balance…
…they’re concentrating and adjusting.
When they navigate obstacle courses…
…they’re sequencing, remembering, predicting, and problem-solving.
Movement isn’t taking time away from learning.
Movement is helping build the brain that makes learning possible.
Everyday Games That Build Executive Function
One of the most encouraging things about executive functioning is that it grows during ordinary family moments.
Simon Says
Children must listen carefully, remember instructions, and resist acting impulsively.
Skills developed: Inhibitory control, working memory.
Hide and Seek
Children remember rules, plan where to hide, and think from another person’s perspective.
Skills developed: Planning, memory, flexible thinking.
Obstacle Courses
Children remember movement sequences, solve physical challenges, and adapt when something changes.
Skills developed: Planning, sequencing, cognitive flexibility.
Pretend Play
Whether running a café, pretending to be veterinarians, astronauts, or superheroes, children continually negotiate, organise, remember roles, and adapt their stories.
Skills developed: All three executive function skills simultaneously (Bodrova & Leong, 2007).
Building with Blocks
The tower falls.
They try again.
And again.
Each attempt strengthens persistence, planning, emotional regulation, and problem-solving.
Sometimes the greatest learning happens after everything falls down.
Your Role Isn’t to Direct the Play
As parents, we sometimes feel pressure to teach every moment.
But children don’t need adults who always provide the answers.
They need adults who encourage thinking.
Instead of saying:
“That goes there.”
Try asking:
- “What do you think will happen?”
- “Can you think of another way?”
- “How could we solve that problem?”
- “What should we try next?”
Questions encourage children to think rather than simply follow instructions.
This kind of responsive interaction strengthens executive functioning while preserving children’s curiosity (Yogman et al., 2018).
Small Moments For Big Futures
Executive functioning develops one playful experience at a time.
It grows when your child waits for their turn.
When they build another tower after the first one falls.
When they invent imaginary worlds.
When they negotiate with a sibling.
When they remember the rules of a game.
When they climb, jump, balance, create, and explore.
These moments may seem ordinary.
But together, they are quietly building the mental skills that will help your child navigate friendships, school, work, relationships, parenting, and life’s inevitable challenges.
The games you play today are helping shape the adult your child will become tomorrow.
And perhaps that’s one of the most beautiful things about play.
It’s never just play.
It’s the foundation for a lifetime of learning, resilience, and success.
Key Takeaways
- Executive functioning includes working memory, inhibitory control, and cognitive flexibility (Diamond, 2013).
- These skills begin developing in infancy and continue into early adulthood.
- Strong executive function predicts academic achievement, emotional wellbeing, healthy relationships, and long-term life success (Moffitt et al., 2011).
- Play provides one of the most effective and developmentally appropriate ways to strengthen executive functioning.
- Movement, pretend play, games with rules, construction play, and everyday family interactions all provide rich opportunities to build these essential lifelong skills.
References
- Best, J. R. (2010). Effects of physical activity on children’s executive function: Contributions of experimental research on aerobic exercise. Developmental Review, 30(4), 331–351.
- Bodrova, E., & Leong, D. J. (2007). Tools of the Mind: The Vygotskian Approach to Early Childhood Education.
- Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2011). Building the Brain’s “Air Traffic Control” System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function.
- Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 135–168.
- Moffitt, T. E., Arseneault, L., Belsky, D., et al. (2011). A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(7), 2693–2698.
- Yogman, M., Garner, A., Hutchinson, J., Hirsh-Pasek, K., & Golinkoff, R. M. (2018). The Power of Play: A Pediatric Role in Enhancing Development in Young Children. Pediatrics, 142(3), e20182058.